Wooing Lydia — Rejection and Heartache in Skyrim

When I first started playing Skyrim I never thought that I’d want to get married. Marriage is a big commitment after all, and who has time for domestic life when there are so many dungeons to explore and quests to complete? After playing the game for several weeks though, I’m starting to get the itch. Right around the time I gained level 25 I started to feel restless. I can only slay so many dragons and pick so many locks. Maybe marriage isn’t such a bad idea at that?

Lydia is my first choice when it comes to looking for a wife. She and I have known each other since level 9, and I always thought we worked well together. She’s attractive, loyal, and good in a fight — perfect Skyrim marriage material if you ask me. Every time she tells me in her sultry voice that she’ll “protect me with her life” I think my heart skips a beat.

Well, for some reason I can’t fully explain, things aren’t taking off with Lydia — no matter how much I want them to. Believe me, I did all the right things you need to do to get hitched. I trekked all the way to Riften to speak with Maramal, the hippy priest who yammers on about love and sunshine and all that jazz. I already had an Amulet of Mara (stole it off some bandit chief on an earlier adventure) so I didn’t have to fork over 200 gold to the hippy for one (he probably would have blown the dough on incense or beads anyway). As soon as Maramal’s spiel was over, I hightailed it outside the temple and put on the Amulet. I thought I was all set to wed Lydia, but she wasn’t interested in me in the slightest.

Not one to give up easily, I set about wooing her. I did all the things you normally do when trying to make a good impression on a girl. I gave her flowers (red and purple Mountain Flowers). I gave her pretty baubles (rings, necklaces, jewels). I even gave her a complete set of Orc armor and a matching battle axe that I magically enchanted at the College of Winterhold. After all of my efforts, Lydia still won’t give me the time of day.

I really can’t explain Lydia’s lack of interest in me. I like to think that I’m a good looking High Elf. I work out and have a steady income selling potions and enchanted weapons. I own my own house and even have a horse. What’s not to love? She could do far worse in Skyrim, let me tell you. She could end up with a guy like Cicero or that doofus over in Riverwood who’s always singing about Ragnar The Red.

What could it be? Her disinterest is driving me nuts! Maybe she doesn’t like my tattoos? I got inked at the beginning of the game when I created my character — red tats beneath my eyes that look like Alice Cooper’s. At the time I thought getting inked was a good idea (doesn’t everybody), but I’m not so sure just now. And if that’s why Lydia is being so fickle, what am I supposed to do about it? It’s not as if there’s a tattoo removal specialist who set up shop in Solitude…

OK, if it’s not the tattoos, maybe it’s because I set her on fire six or seven times during our relationship. Each time was an accident (all right, one time wasn’t an accident, but Lydia was blocking the doorway and wouldn’t move out of the way no matter what so I went Human Torch on her and blasted her with a Flame spell). I suppose I’d be upset if someone set me on fire, but come on! It isn’t like it happens all the time. I’m usually very careful, but when you’re up against a Frost Troll  going hammer and tongs with a fire sword, bad things can happen.

Regrettably, I don’t know if I’ll ever figure it out. Maybe I should give up the idea of marrying Lydia and just go drinking at the Four Shields Tavern. As it stands, our relationship is coldly professional. I’m the thane and she’s the housecarl. We make a good team, and have cleared many a dungeon and forgotten ruin together. I just know there could be more to our relationship if Lydia would just open her heart to my affections.