The Witcher Review

Twenty Sided’s Shamus Young shares his thoughts onTthe Witcher in a three-part blog article: Meet Geralt, Presentation and Final Thoughts. And, well… he hates it.

A lot of people are faulting me for being overly critical of The Witcher and not giving the game a chance, and they’re right. This series has been too divisive, and so I thought we’d wrap it up early, on a conciliatory note.

It turns out I never really took the steps needed to enjoy the game. I’ve been unfair. Luckily, people have provided me with lots of helpful tips on what I’ve been doing wrong. It turns out that to really enjoy the game you just need to:

1. Read a 72-page manual.
2. Read the series of books on which the game is based. (You need to learn Polish first, as only the first book is available in English.)
3. Wait until the patch comes out in a few months that will fix up all the annoyances and problems with the game.
4. Spend hundreds of dollars upgrading your computer. Only a fool plays a game with mid-range hardware, anyway.
5. Play for several hours until you get to the good parts.

I admit, I just jumped right in and expected it to be fun. Seems kind of crazy in retrospect. I’m going to discontinue this series until I can complete the tasks in that list so that I can give the game a proper review.