An Honest Conversation With BioWare

Apparently the folks at Bitmob weren’t too happy with the direction BioWare took with Dragon Age II and Mass Effect 2: Arrival, and have even went so far as to crank out this faux interview to lend a voice to their disappointment.

“Rick, what are you doing here?” BioWare asked, startled.

I shoved BioWare’s guest chair aside so I could stare down at him.

“I’m taking a break from my beef with Hollywood to figure out what the hell is going on with my favorite developer. Believe me, I’d rather be out there now fighting the good fight instead of being here in Edmonton. I hate Edmonton.” My tone was harsh. The only Canadian city less interesting than Edmonton was Calgary, and I had just driven through Calgary.

“W-what do you mean? Everything is going well. Dragon Age 2 sold a lot of-”

“Dragon Age 2 sucks,” I cut him off curtly.

“How can you say that? Well, what about The Arrival DLC? You’re big on Mass Effect … did you play it?” he asked curiously.

“The Arrival is why I’m here. It was the tipping point. You got a 5.0 on Gamespot. The last time Mass Effect DLC did this poorly was Pinnacle Station.” I stepped back and started pacing the room. BioWare sat silently. I had his full attention now.

“You guys never put out crap, but lately that’s slipped. All it takes are a few more screw-ups before the forums transform into a dangerous lynch mob. Witch Hunt was somewhat forgivable seeing how new Dragon Age was at the time. Then Dragon Age 2 came out and it hurt all of us … like a piece of chicken not fully cooked. You know it’s not a sequel. It’s a damn side story.”

Agree or disagree, at least it’s an entertaining read.