Crazy Celvan’s Limericks – Baldur’s Gate II

This guide lists all of the limericks recited by Crazy Celvan in Baldur’s Gate II.

Overview

You’ll meet a gnome named Crazy Celvan on the roof of Mae’Var’s Guildhall in the Docks District. If you talk to him with certain companions nearby, then he’ll recite amusing limericks about them. But note: Celvan will run away (and disappear) after you’ve spoken to him, so be sure to save first. Celvan’s limericks are shown below.

AerieThere once was an elf who could fly;
Without wings, she was sure she would die.
But soon she’ll have found
That it is on the ground
That her true destiny does lie.
AnomenThere once was a man full of woes,
Strong and mighty he smote all his foes.
Soon he’ll take his Test.
To him it’s no jest.
If he’ll pass, not even he knows.
Dorn (EE)A blackguard obeys his patron’s command,
Though he strains under constant demand.
With a choice to make
And his world at stake,
With whom shall the half-orc stand?
Hexxat (EE)A woman trapped hundreds of years,
Awake and aware with mind’s eyes and ears,
The darkness her friend
Till the bitter end,
An end she no longer fears.
JaheiraThere once was an elf proud and fair;
Men withered once under her stare.
But she loved one man true,
And he died… as men do,
And now there is naught but grief there.
KeldornThere once was a knight pure of heart;
From his wife he is always apart.
Has his heart grown colder
As his deeds grew bolder?
What is finished can never restart.
MazzyThere once was a halfling so pure,
She’s a paladin, as sure as she’s sure.
If she’s lucky one day,
Her goddess will smile and say
That the lack of one she’ll no longer endure.
MinscThere once was a warrior true,
With the sense knocked out of him too.
But in a hamster he found
Some wisdom profound,
And now where goes he goes his Boo!
Neera (EE)With no warning, a magical surging,
It comes regardless of urging.
Friends are burnt,
Yet lessons go unlearnt;
A new Neera will soon be emerging.
Rasaad (EE)A man comes to a fork in his path
With no companions at all, save his wrath.
Will his enemy fall,
Or will he lose all?
You can’t wash your hands in a bloodbath.
ValygarThere once was a man so afraid
That his soul was to be soon waylaid;
See, the wizard’s returned
In his sphere, he has learned,
But has he learned if a soul can be weighed?
Viconia
(not in game)
There once was an elf of the Dark
Whose bite was far worse than her bark.
Left without a home,
on the surface she’ll roam;
In the sun she might just make her mark.
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Luxrah
Luxrah

I love RPGs, MMOs, and weird little indie games. Anything that lets me build and decorate or just has a really good story. I've spent hundreds of hours in Bethesda games and even more time modding them. I also play a lot of World of Warcraft.

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