The Six Most Bizarre Game Mods

If you’re tired of downloading generic and uninteresting modifications for your favorite PC games, then GameSpy’s list of a half dozen “bizarre” mods might help you break up the monotony a bit. Oblivion’s “Basic Instinct” mod comes in at #6:

Nothing makes dignity cry like amateur sex mods in videogames. Perhaps the day will eventually come when pornography in gaming grows up a little bit, and so will be considered no less shameful than regular porn. But until that day videogame pornography will continue to fail in the Sexolympics, with actual sex taking the gold, live pornography taking silver, and modded Oblivion skins skulking under the bleachers trying to look up skirts. That’s right: For some reason Oblivion has been a major focus point of The Saddest Lust, and many a modder has spent long hours rendering boobs within the confines of its engine, despite the fact that the default women all look like Conan O’Brien with Elephantiasis. The first step in Oblivion mod porno was to make more attractive skins for the females, the second step was to add nudity to those skins, and so you’d think the third step would be virtual sex scripts, right?

Well, not quite. Turns out that even if you’re writing the program, some people still can’t get laid for the life of them. And thus is born the Basic Instinct Spell, described below:

A very simple mod: adds a spell you can cast on any female, she will then get naked and find a bed, then pleasure herself. Enjoy

I just love that it’s a spell — like if you run out of Magicka, she’ll just scoff and walk away, leaving you with aching magical blue balls. Also, assuming that it is an accurate “Basic Instinct” mod, you’ll probably be murdered with an ice pick shortly after the show. Or maybe you’ll just have your career quickly tank and end up a middle-aged woman only remembered for a blurry shot of your vagina. I will leave it up to you to decide which is worse.

I think it’s safe to say that I won’t be downloading that one.

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